We all know those annoying people who can’t seem to let go of our past mistakes. They seem to take great joy in bringing up flaws. For us, it’s embarrassing and frustrating that they won’t let us move on. Here’s how to deal:
· You need to make peace with the past. If you are at peace with your past and can let it go, then it won’t matter if they keep bringing it up. It won’t bother you if you’ve accepted your flaws. It’s when you’re still sensitive about it that it bothers you. So accept the fact that you’re human, you aren’t perfect and that the past is in the past and it won’t matter what anyone else has to say about it.
· Focus on your strengths. Show some self-confidence and focus on all of your achievements and strengths when they start reminiscing about your flaws. Counter their negative comments with positive thoughts.
· Focus on the future. Just because they’re stuck in the past it doesn’t mean that you need to be. Set your sights on future goals and projects and leave them to rehash the past alone.
· Don’t stoop to their level. They may get a kick out of trying to bring you down by reminding you of your personality flaws and past mistakes, but don’t be tempted to do the same to them. Take the high road and you’ll always feel good about it.
· Understand where they are coming from. Think about why they feel the need to focus on you and your past mistakes. It’s likely that they are insecure and have low self-esteem and their way of dealing with their own issues is to focus on yours. So even though it’s annoying, their obsession with your past probably has very little to do with you.
· Confront them. In an open-minded and calm manner, have a conversation with them and ask them straight out about it. Tell them that you’ve noticed that they always bring up your flaws and mistakes and let them know that it bothers you. Tell them that you’d rather focus on the future and ask that they do the same.
· Give yourself a break. You are human after all, so it’s only natural that you have some imperfections in your life, just like everyone else. Next time they bring it up, remind yourself that they could be talking about anyone. None of us have a perfect track record, including them.
· Use it to grow. Use their example to inspire yourself to be a better person and to learn from your flaws and mistakes. Turn their negative behavior into something positive.